


Non-Normal, Normal Friends

by idareu2bme



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Dirk Gently Needs a Hug, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Post-Season/Series 02, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, argument, this is about todd and dirk as friends but in my mind they always end up together, todd and dirk cut each other off a lot when they are talking emotionally... i guess, todd gets mad when he gets worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 16:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16579847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idareu2bme/pseuds/idareu2bme
Summary: Dirk stumbles around while learning how to be a good friend.





	Non-Normal, Normal Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teyla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teyla/gifts).



It had been a very long time since Dirk had last had the privilege of worrying about how his actions would affect others. Not in the usual catastrophical way that he _often_ worried about... and actually had recently been working hard on _not_ worrying about for his own sanity’s sake. No, now that he finally had friends who were normal people --well, to be fair, Todd and Farah were doubtlessly the least normal normal people he had probably ever met, but they were still _somewhat_ normal. Anyway, now that he was friends with normal people, he was quickly learning that he must take their feelings into account when choosing his actions or even words.

 

Of course, that’s easier said than done when one has spent the majority of their life _not_ doing that. Take the current situation for example, he _probably_ should have let Todd and Farah know where he was going when he had abruptly left the office as a result of a sudden and rather forceful hunch. But, hindsight is 20/20 as they say, and perhaps it was an easily forgivable mistake once properly apologized for. On the other hand, ignoring the subsequent fourteen missed phone calls and some twenty-three texts over the past two hours was probably a slightly bigger offence and would likely be harder to forgive.

 

Dirk winced as he scrolled through the missed calls and texts on his phone. He had been much too busy following that pesky hunch to check his phone and had only seen the messages when he had pulled his phone out of his back pocket just then to check the time. It was 1:23 pm. He had wanted to take note of the time because the two suspicious men he had begun tailing a few blocks back (once realizing it was them he was supposed to be following and not the one-eyed cat that had originally caught his eye) had just gone into an old warehouse on the docks through a small side door and taking note of the time seemed the thing to do.

 

Dirk was kneeling behind a pile of pallets just across the alley. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was going to find or if the situation called for stealth, but as he had learned from Todd, it was almost always beneficial to err on the side of caution in cases such as this. It was just as Dirk was guiltily replacing his phone back into his back pocket without having responded to any of the messages that an SUV pulled up directly behind him. Dirk shot up in surprise and spun around just in time to make direct eye contact with the driver through the SUV’s windshield. The driver bore a concerning resemblance to a very angry Farah Black.

 

“Uh oh,” breathed Dirk, before putting on his best smile.

 

The front passenger door of the vehicle opened and slammed shut before the SUV had even finished its rock backward from being put into park and then suddenly Todd was right in Dirk’s personal space, eyes blazing. Dirk took a step backward but was hindered from any further retreat by the pile of pallets. Farah got out of the driver’s side.

 

“Hi guys,” said Dirk, his voice sounding a little high to his own ears.

 

“Don’t ‘ _hi guys_ ’, me, Dirk!” exclaimed Todd. “Where the _hell_ have you been and why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

 

“I had a hunch,” explained Dirk.

 

Todd took a step back and pinched the bridge of his nose. Dirk let out the breath he’d been holding now that Todd as out of his personal space with all that emanating emotion. Farah was standing a few feet behind Todd with her arms crossed and a face of stone. The slump of Todd’s shoulders looked a bit like relief and the wrinkle between Farah’s eyebrows looked a lot like worry. Dirk immediately felt awful.

 

“I’m sorry,” said Dirk, “I had this feeling that I should go outside and then there was this person with a purple umbrella and this one-eyed cat and then--”

 

“You could have at least answered your phone,” spoke Farah, her even voice not giving away any of her emotion, but the wrinkle between her eyebrows remained.

 

“Yes, that was an unfortunate failing on my part,” agreed Dirk. “I am sorry to have worried you, I had only just noticed the missed calls and texts just before you arrived, which… wait… how _did_ you find me?”

 

“We put GPS on your phone so we could keep track of you.”

 

“Brilliant! Perhaps a touch intrusive, but very clever all the same,” said Dirk, nodding. “But then, why did you wait so long to find me?”

 

That was definitely the wrong question to ask judging from how fast Todd’s eyebrows went down in the most exaggerated of angry frowns Dirk had seen outside of cartoons.

 

Dirk caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see the two men he’d been tailing suddenly reemerge from the building. He immediately ducked down. Farah and Todd, by merit of their experience, were quick to follow. This pleased Dirk what was probably an inordinate amount.

 

Todd crept up beside him.

 

“Who are those guys?” he whispered, all thoughts of the confrontation seemingly pushed from his mind. Such a great assist-- erm... partner.

 

“I haven’t the foggiest,” replied Dirk, grabbing his phone to check the time again; 1:36 pm. “However, they were there for a very short amount of time. How long do you think is a normal amount of time to spend at a warehouse down at the docks?”

 

“I don’t know, depends on why you’re there.”

 

The two men got into a white cargo van.

 

“Are we following them?” asked Farah in a low voice.

 

Dirk dithered for a moment; they could take a look inside the warehouse, or they could follow the men. The universe wasn’t giving him any specific pulls in either direction which was not helpful in the least, thank you very much. He decided on the men as the warehouse wasn’t going anywhere after all. He quickly took note of the number on the side of the building before straightening.

 

“Yes, let’s go,” he said with finality before straightening and hurrying to the SUV with long strides, Todd hot on his heels.

 

Farah got into the driver’s side with a determined look on her face and buckled up.

 

“Don’t lose sight of them,” she said before throwing the SUV in reverse.

 

Dirk nodded seriously, squinting his eyes as he peered determinedly through the windshield at the van pulling away. But his shoulder was suddenly met with an explosion of pain.

 

“OW! You punched me!” he cried turning in his seat to glare at Todd. “What was that for!?”

 

“You _know_ why!” growled Todd.

 

“I _said_ I was _sorry_!”

 

“You’re an _idiot_ ,” said Todd with such frustration that he was practically spitting each word. “Did it ever occur to you to _say_ you were following a hunch and, I don’t know, LET ME COME WITH YOU?”

 

Dirk stilled. It hadn’t.

 

“Guys, pay attention to the van,” said Farah and Dirk swung back around to face the front.

 

“Right, sorry,” he said, going back to squinting determinedly out the front windshield, this time while rubbing gingerly at his shoulder.

 

\------------------

 

Dirk winced when Todd shut the SUV door much harder than necessary. He hurriedly climbed out of the front passenger side feeling awkward after having been on the receiving end of Todd’s silent treatment for the duration of the drive back. Farah shot him a look over the hood of the vehicle as they walked to the front doors of the building as Todd rushed off ahead of them. Dirk grimaced back at her and picked up his pace to catch up with Todd.

 

“Todd,” he started as he reached his side. Dirk paused, unsure what to say next. Todd was struggling with the key in the lock, but he managed to open the door and let it fall shut right in Dirk’s face before Dirk could say anything more.

 

Dirk turned to Farah and opened his mouth to say something, but she just raised her hand and shook her head.

 

“I’m angry with you, too,” she said before walking past him into the building.

 

Dirk let out a sigh. This having friends thing was a lot harder than it looked.

 

He followed after Farah and Todd up the stairs to their office at a more sedate pace. He felt contrite at having left them behind and having made them worry, he did, but having both of them mad at him even after he had apologized… well, it was making him want to push back, making him want to pout, want to be angry. He knew that was the wrong response, even if this was all a bit new to him, so he tamped it down as best as he could and walked into their office.

 

Farah was already at her desk typing away on her laptop. Todd was standing at his desk taking off his sweater with angry, jerking motions.

 

“Todd,” said Dirk, walking over to Todd. “I truly _am_ sor--”

 

“Dirk, just stop,” interrupted Todd around a very frustrated sounding sigh.

 

Dirk went quiet. He bit his lip and just stood and watched as Todd took a deep breath and blew it out, his shoulders falling. Sometimes when Dirk looked at Todd, he had the sudden irrational desire to put his arms around him and just hold him. He wasn’t entirely sure why and it didn’t usually feel like a ‘normal friend thing’ when he had that particular urge. He was having that desire again in that moment, but if it were a questionable move in regular situations, it was definitely a bad idea right then. Todd would definitely have some protestations.

 

“Augh, don't just stand there staring at me with puppy eyes,” exploded Todd a few beats later. “Go... go finish that paperwork junk or whatever you were working on before you ran off.” He made shooing motions with his hands from where he was now seated at his desk. Dirk harrumphed quietly to himself before going to his own desk. Todd knew very well that Dirk hadn’t been doing ‘paperwork junk’ earlier.

 

Dirk plunked down at his desk and stared at the laptop in front of him before turning it back on. He he had been going through the emails of possible cases Todd had forwarded to him earlier. Todd was in charge of their company’s email and the majority of their ‘customer service’ being that, of the three, he had the propensity for it. He would often say that they were in trouble if he was the ‘people person’ of the bunch, but Dirk thought he did an excellent job.

 

Farah came over and leaned against his desk a few minutes later. Dirk looked up and gave her an approximation of a friendly smile.

 

“So... those men... the ones we followed today,” started Farah in a halting fashion that seemed out of place even for her. “Do you have.. any… uh… hunches about what they’re up to?”

 

Dirk smiled at her suddenly realizing the stuttering was because she was still upset with him, but her coming over to ask _had_ to be indicative of her trying to move past it. He was fortunate that Farah wasn’t one to hold a grudge against a friend.

 

“Well,” said Dirk, shifting in his chair and feeling some of his enthusiasm over the probability of a new case coming back to him. “Well... no. BUT, I thought it was rather strange that they would walk all the way down to the docks right past our office, spend only a few minutes in the warehouse, and then leave in a white cargo van only to abandon it at an old, abandoned mill on the other side of town. It all seems very suspicious.”

 

“Agreed,” said Farah, nodding. “It definitely seemed shady, but we waited there for a few hours and... nothing.”

 

“We should go back there tonight to see if anything’s changed,” spoke up Todd. “Shady things usually happen at night, right?”

 

“Excellent idea, Todd,” praised Dirk at the same time that Farah said, “shady things can happen at any time of day.”

 

“Okay, well, I still think we should check it out tonight, anyway,” said Todd with a shrug, completely ignoring Dirk. “We’ve got the plates of the van, right?”

 

“Yes, and it just comes up as a rental,” said Farah.

 

“Do you know which company?” asked Todd, “we could go see who they rented it out to.”

 

“Yes,  but they don’t just give that sort of information out,” replied Farah. “They have privacy policies.”

 

“That seems easy enough to get around,” said Todd with a shrug.

 

Dirk wanted to feel proud of Todd in that moment, considering how far he’d come in his detectoring. Well, he’d always been naturally quite good at it, but it was more his attitude toward the whole thing that had come a long way. The same went for Farah, really. It was all really quite amazing how she and Todd were sitting there talking about how to solve this case that really hadn’t yet even been confirmed as a case. It was all really quite nice to have his hunches taken so seriously by his friends. Still, his warm, glowy feelings toward Todd and Farah in that moment were rather dampened by the fact that Todd was obviously ignoring Dirk’s presence right then.  

 

“I will see what I can do in the morning,” said Farah. “What time should I pick you two up for tonight’s stake out? Eight o’clock?”

 

“That sounds good,” said Todd, nodding. “That’ll give me time to finish up what I’m working on here and go home to change and have something to eat.”

 

“Okay,” said Farah. “I’m going to head out, now, then.”

She pushed off from Dirk’s desk and went to grab her things.

 

“Eight o’clock works for me, too,” offered Dirk, but no one gave any indication of having heard him. He frowned and turned back to the emails on his laptop. So maybe Farah wasn’t any closer to moving past it than Todd.

 

Dirk waited at his desk for Todd, pretending he too still had work to be done even though he had already read the forwarded emails three times each. He probably wasn’t fooling Todd considering Todd knew how many emails Dirk had to read through being as he was the one who had read and forwarded them to him for further consideration just that morning. Still, it was customary for Dirk to wait for Todd so that they could walk home together. Just because Todd was upset and not speaking to him didn’t mean Dirk was about to break tradition.

 

Finally, Todd closed his laptop with a sigh and stood up. Dirk tried not to look too keen, so clicked around a few more times on his own laptop and rustled through some of the papers on his desk while Todd stretched and grabbed his sweater off the back of his chair.

 

“You don’t have to pretend to be busy any longer, Dirk,” said Todd. “I’m ready to go.”

 

Perhaps it was just hopeful thinking, but Dirk was almost certain he could detect a touch of fond warmth to Todd’s words.

 

“ _‘Pretend to be busy_ ’,” scoffed Dirk lightly, but he quickly shut his laptop.

 

He grabbed his coat and the squeeze toy that was Mona and followed Todd.

 

“Are you still mad at me?” hedged Dirk as he waited for Todd to lock the door to their office.

 

Todd didn’t say anything right away. Dirk forced himself to stay quiet and patient. He waited as Todd pocketed they keys. He waited as he followed Todd down the stairs and out the front door of the building. He waited as they walked the three blocks back to the apartment building they both lived at. It felt like an immense amount of waiting. Was Todd still just ignoring him or was he going to answer? It had felt like he planned to answer when Dirk had first asked.

 

“I’m not mad,” said Todd when they reached the front door of the apartment building.

Dirk pursed his lips, but stayed quiet. He waited while Todd dug his keys back out of his pocket.

 

“Well, I’m a little mad,” admitted Todd as he put the key in the lock. He didn’t turn the key, instead he turned to face Dirk. “I was scared and that made me mad.”

 

“I’m sorry,” said Dirk.

 

“You’ve said that,” said Todd with a miserable smile. “But you don’t get it.”

 

“Todd, I assure you th--”

 

“And because you don’t get it, you’re going to do it again and again,” spoke Todd over Dirk, his miserable smile only turning more miserable as he spoke. “So, I guess I should get over it, now.”

 

Todd turned away from Dirk again and turned the key in the lock. Dirk’s stomach felt heavy like lead. He followed after Todd as he went into the building, letting the door shut behind them once Todd had retrieved his key.

 

“Todd--” started Dirk when they reached Todd’s apartment door.

 

“I get that you have these hunches and that you gotta follow them,” said Todd, effectively cutting Dirk off again, but that was fine because Dirk honestly hadn’t known what to say beyond Todd’s name. “What I don’t get is why you can’t just tell me and let me come with you. We… we’re supposed to be partners. You’re… you have to know by now that… you’re…” Todd paused to let out a sigh. “You’re important to me, Dirk.”

 

Dirk’s stomach suddenly went from heavy with lead to flipping a somersault. Todd wasn’t one to say sentimental things. Usually it took strange love potions or near-death situations or evenings in the back of a jeep under a blanket of stars, so Dirk could gather that the meaning of Todd’s words just then ran much deeper than they even sounded.

 

“When you leave, it scares me, okay?” said Todd, his eyebrows drawing down in what anyone else would probably perceive as anger, but Dirk had learned early on was actually discomfort. “It scares me that this might be the time that I can’t find you again, and… and.... It also hurts that you don’t let me be part of it. We’re supposed to be partners and then you just leave--”  

 

It seemed like Todd might actually cry if Dirk let him continue so he quickly cut in.

 

“Todd,” he said, his voice coming out almost in a panic. He paused to clear his throat before continuing.

 

“Todd,” Dirk said again, this time sounding more himself. “Remember on our first case when we were just getting to know one another and I said _‘I am a leaf in the stream of creation_ ’?”   
  
“Yeah that seemed a bit hokey even for you,” said Todd with a wry smile, though he still looked miserable.

 

Dirk laughed.

 

“Yes, well, that’s probably because those weren’t my own words,” said Dirk. His smile quickly fell from his face. His next words feeling much more grave because of where he was going. “Listen Todd, I’ve been a tool for the majority of my life.”

 

“That’s for sure,” snorted Todd.

 

Dirk rolled his eyes, happy Todd was back to teasing him, but he needed to get this out.

 

“I didn’t spend the entirety of my time with Blackwing in the facility completing meaningless tasks and tests,” he revealed, though it likely wasn’t that weighted of an admission considering Todd probably had little knowledge of the meaningless tasks and tests to begin with. “After the first year or two --time really lost most of its meaning there-- they took me out into the field. They wanted me to perform my whole holistic power deal. They trained me and then sent me loose like a... _sniffer dog_.”

 

“When I couldn’t perform, they’d take me back to training. They’d repeat these mantras to me at night ‘You are but a leaf on the stream of creation, let the universe direct your path’ and other such nonsense. It is embedded in my mind so deeply, Todd. I still hear it in my dreams.”

 

“That’s…” started Todd looking at a loss for words.

 

“And, like I said,” Dirk barrelled on,  “they would set me loose to chase after a hunch. They’d follow me at a distance to see what I’d discover, what sorts of cause and effect cycles I would stumble into. One day, they lost track of me… or at least, I think they lost track of me. They spent so much time simply watching from the shadows that it took a long time for me to realize that they weren’t going to suddenly just pick me up again. Of course, then they did…” Dirk huffed out a slightly manic laugh at that and looked down at the floor unseeing.

 

“Dirk…” said Todd in that weepy voice that he sometimes got when he was feeling things a little to genuinely.

 

“Look, Todd,” cut in Dirk, quickly. “I’m sorry that I just disappear after hunches sometimes without thinking to communicate with you. I’ve done it multiple times before and, you’re right, I will probably do it again in the future, but you must understand that it is because of sixteen years of habit and nothing to do with the great regard I have for you. Because I do… have great regard for you.”  
  
“You’re my best friend,” said Dirk, finally looking up from the floor. “I’m trying, Todd, I’m trying to be a better friend than that. I just… haven’t had friends before.”

 

Todd’s eyes were overly bright and looked a bit wet with unshed tears. He had an expressive face and bright eyes to begin with, so when they were filled with that much emotion, well, it was sometimes difficult to look at. Dirk swallowed heavily and looked away.

 

Suddenly, he was bodily attacked with… another body. Arms were thrown around him and he stumbled to stay upright. Dirk spluttered and looked down at Todd who was wrapped around him in what was likely the sort of thing people termed as a bear-hug. Dirk sobbed out a laugh and slowly, carefully put his arms around Todd’s back.

 

“You’re my best friend, too,” said Todd, or at least that’s what Dirk thought he had probably said, his voice completely muffled where his face was smushed into Dirk’s jacket.

 

Dirk couldn’t help the ridiculous smile that broke out across his face. Of course, it wasn’t the first time Todd had said that -- there had been a couple times; the most memorable being the night of the crazy love powder... potion... thing, but it was much nicer to hear sober and outside of life and death situations.

 

Finally (well, no, not ‘finally’, Dirk wouldn’t have minded if that embrace had lasted longer... especially considering how few times he was on the receiving end of a hug, but the point of ‘finally’ in this case was simply that the hug had lasted longer than what was probably socially acceptable between two normal friends --not that Dirk was a reliable source on what was socially acceptable) Todd let go and took a step back. He was smiling in what looked like embarrassment when Dirk blinked at him. Todd cleared his throat and Dirk bit his lips.

 

“We should… get ready for tonight, Farah is picking us up in an hour,” said Todd. “C’mon, I think I have that leftover pizza in my fridge. I doubt you have anything to eat in your apartment since I’ve never even _seen_ you go grocery shopping in the past month.”

 

Dirk smiled.

 

“How astute,” said Dirk. “Your detective skills are improving, Todd.”

 

Todd laughed. “Dick.”

 

“It’s Dirk,” corrected Dirk while following Todd into his apartment with a smile. It might be a lot of work at times, but it was quite gratifying to have friends, especially the strange, non-normal, normal ones like his.


End file.
